I wish it was as simple as just writing a list of signs (what other people notice about the person) and symptoms (what the person themselves notice), but it’s not that easy. Depression manifests itself in different ways in different people, though, of course, there may also be many similarities. It’s also important to distinguish between ordinary unhappiness or sadness which has an easily identifiable cause, and depression.

The first thing that I am interested in is, “What are the differences that someone has noticed in themselves?” Then I will ask, “What are the differences that others have noticed or complained about in them?” It is when there are noticeable changes that we need to consider depression. Some people are by nature...

I can’t do it anymore, but I just have to. I just want to scream.

There have been times in my life when I have found myself in this situation. It sucks!

Why do we allow ourselves to take on more than we can handle comfortably, and why, oh why, do we put up with being under-appreciated? It is often the cause of anxiety, anger and depression.

There are many reasons for taking on too much:

• No-one else can do it, or at least, not as well or as quickly as me

• Everyone else is busy too

• If I say no,

• people will be disappointed in me

• people will think I can’t cope

• people will criticise me

If I say yes:

• People will admire me

• People will like me

• I will get a promotion (and that means even more work!)

  ...

As I was growing up I was given a whole lot of information about what men were like, how, as a female, I was supposed to act, and what to expect in a relationship with a man. Just like anybody else, this information came from my own observations, from my family, the community I grew up in, my church, my schooling and from books I read. Some of it was accurate, but much of it was rubbish, and it took me a while to find out which was which, and to realise that individual men and women differ.

I was taught that men can’t control themselves, and so it was up to the females to moderate their own behaviour and situations to keep them in check – that’s a rubbish one. 

That nice girls don’t get angry – that’s another rubbish one.   The sa...

We seem to have become a much more self-centred society – “all about “me” and I don’t care who I climb over or hurt on the way”. It’s scary. We see extraordinary examples of this every day on the news – supposed leaders having 2 year old temper tantrums, speaking rudely and insultingly to anyone who disagrees with them or who doesn’t adore them, and who threaten retribution to those who criticise.

If our “leaders” can behave in this rude and bullying way, that must mean it’s ok, right?

NO, NO, NO. A most emphatic NO. All that results from these attitudes and behaviours is an escalation of disharmony, of people being scared and unhappy, depressed and anxious.

Let’s get back to a society based on values – not religious dogma, but on...

Does having to have everything perfect all the time mean that there is little time to relax and enjoy things? Are you constantly tidying up, worrying about what others think, scared of making a mistake, always having to look your best? 

It must be exhausting!

Do you ever reach that impossibly high goal that you set for yourself, or do you always think that you could have done better? I can remember how it felt when my parents asked what had happened to the other 2% when I got 98% in a test.

Nobody has to be perfect – we all make mistakes because we are human beings with frailties. It’s great to aim to do your best, to work hard at whatever you are doing, whether it’s paid or unpaid work or play. Sometimes we do get a perfect result...

When we think of the word “courage” we often associate it with some heroic or dramatic action such as someone putting their own life at risk in order to save someone else. But sometimes it is just as heroic, and takes just as much courage, to deal with the ongoing, chronic difficulties in ordinary lives, or to do the right thing.

It’s not about being a ‘blowhard”. Sometimes courage is about stamina, perseverance and stubbornness - to just keep going when there seems so little light at the end of the tunnel, or when there seems no end to the tunnel. These situations can be to do with relationships, with poverty, with discrimination, with poor health, either your own, or that of someone close to you. Parents caring for severely dis...

One of my bug-bears is hearing people use the term “mental illness”. It has such a stigma attached to it that it’s no wonder that people are reluctant to own up to feeling depressed or anxious. When someone has a cold, the ‘flu, measles or cancer, we don’t say (in hushed tones) “oh, they’ve got a physical illness” do we? So why on earth, when someone has depression, anxiety, bi-polar disorder or a crippling phobia, do we say “oh they’ve got a mental illness”? It immediately stigmatises the person who is unwell and struggling in their life. Why can’t we just say “oh, they’ve got depression, or anxiety etc”? Sometimes having depression or anxiety can’t be avoided if life suddenly throws you a whole heap of crises, and to not be de...

Everywhere we look, we can see some form of these two common conditions. Most adults, (and some children too) in today’s world have experienced some level of depression and/or anxiety. We are exposed to huge levels of bad news in the media. While that has always been the case with the media, it’s a long time since it has just been newspapers and the radio. The media itself has grown enormously to include TV, with its multitude of news channels and documentaries about disasters, as well as other forms of electronic media.

I don’t think it necessarily means that more bad things are happening in the world, but that we are constantly being exposed to them in the form of print and video clips.

It is a struggle for many families to surv...

There have been many times in my life when money has been very tight and managing ordinary living expenses has been difficult, let alone think about “luxuries” like an ice-cream or new shoes! I learned some useful things about self-care on a budget.

Have a pamper time – long, soaky bath with some home-made bath salts – Mr Google knows the recipe. Wax or shave legs (and other places). Paint your nails – don’t forget toes. Body lotion all over.

Then, either curl up with a good book and some music, or get dressed up and meet a friend for coffee – doesn’t have to be at a posh cafe.

Go to the beach and walk along searching for shells and pebbles or just sit and watch the waves.

If you want to cut down your heating bills, spend more time...

If your life has become a bit messy and you are feeling overwhelmed by emotions or all the things you have to do, try this – de-clutter.

Get rid of all those things you thought might be useful one day but have never used or needed.

Sort things into piles – what to keep, what you are not sure about, and what can definitely go.

Do one thing at a time, starting with a small thing, and keep going with it until it is finished. Then that is one thing you can tick off your list, and you can start on the next small thing.

If you have to tackle something bigger, see if you can break it down into smaller more manageable chunks, and then do one chunk at a time. (Cleaning out my garage seemed a bit overwhelming until I decided to just do along...